Trials and Tribulations
My wife, Erin, and I are in the most difficult trial of our life. It matters little whether or not I share the specifics of this trial – we are all individualities and our trials are our own, however what we share as human beings is that such trials come at us with the same intensity.
These trials through life come to us not as punishment but rather, though we may not “see” it, they come to us because it is what we “request,” or what we “require.” We must first accept, then own, the fact that the true “me” is not the physical body in which we experience the world around us but rather we are spiritual beings having (and sometimes felt as “enduring”) a physical experience. Such physical experiences are, to use a clear and accurate metaphor, a school of higher development. What that means, at its core, is, we are a very special creation of God and His Hierarchies. In short, we are on an evolutionary track of development toward the tenth hierarchy of God. Of course, such a statement spawns many questions, the answers of which are not simply stated i.e. as in a single post such as this one. Suffice it to say, human beings are _very_ special to God and to all of the Spiritual Hierarchies (we are indeed the “focus” and “purpose” of the Spiritual Hierarchies in the current course of the Cosmos). They have sacrificed of themselves to further our development. One of those sacrifices culminated in the challenge of “knowing of good and evil.” This is what has allowed – and provided – our innate freedom. And in order to acquire true freedom, that freedom must be challenged. We must have presented to us circumstances – some small, some large – that move against all that we deem desireable in life. In point of fact it is this body of “desires”, which we view as so important to our physical well-being, that all too often delude us into believing such desires are the purpose and the goal of our pursuits in life (e.g. “happiness is the pinnacle of life”).
The U.S. Declaration of Independence states in the preamble:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness…
What is stated is characterized as being rights endowed by The Creator with rights that include the “pursuit of happiness.” It is important here to make the distinction between “the pursuit of happiness” in physical life (which, in and of itself is not in any way “wrong” to pursue – if such pursuit is for selfless, genuine and moral reasons) and the pursuit of what we can simply “categorize” as “the pursuit of holiness.” By that I mean the pursuit of our Higher Self. In short, we mustn’t – in fact it is not possible – to “find God” on the physical plane. But I digress…
We are all faced by choices. Each decision we make is either beneficial to our development (our evolution as spiritual beings), detrimental, or neutral. As an example of “neutral” choices, but very illustrative of the vast array of choices in life we are faced with, is hundreds of choices regarding breakfast cereals. Though this may seem as a dull, boring and foolish example, the illustration holds. Each choice we make is either beneficial (for example, to our health as in organic grain cereals) or detrimental (again, for our health as in sugar cereals) (in the case of cereals I see few that qualify as neutral – just saying). Life’s challenges and opportunities present, of course, much more impactful and important decisions. In our current (global) culture, what I observe is almost strictly a “pursuit of happiness” characterized by ease, comfort and entertainment.
The Philosopher’s Stone – a much misunderstood subject in large part due to such popular storylines as Harry Potter – is best understood as the “pursuit of holiness” (as described above). It is the transformation – or metamorphosis – of “plain” minerals into gold. (The subject of the Philosopher’s Stone is, historically speaking, again, much deeper than a simple statment such as this.) One picture often drawn to illustrate the purification of one’s (Higher) Self is the process by which gold becomes purified.
The process requires melting gold (at very high temperatures) such that the dross (the scum or unwanted material that forms on the surface of molten metal) rises to the surface and is drawn off. This is not (necessarily) a single step process but is repeated until dross no longer presents itself. Life, physical and spiritual, is much like this. We experience challenges that present to each of us – in our own lives, in practical terms – a decision, a choice. That choice becomes the path toward further purifcation (through the acceptance of a trial, i.e. “higher education”) or avoidance of further “pain” (“Life is pain,” Buddha) of such trials (experienced as suffering). In other words, we make a choice to endure the challenge which, if overcome, will advance us further (spiritually), or retain (and sometimes increase) the level of ease, comfort and desire we value (physically).
Here is what I meant initially by saying that trials come by the choices we make. All too often we make a decision based on the “feeling” that the choice we decide upon is “the right choice.” In other words, it is morally, ethically the correct choice, the “selfless” choice. If our Higher Self is what we earnestly desire to facilitate (sometimes understood consciously, sometimes not), this becomes the “right choice.” And we believe it. We trust it. Yet we sometimes (mistakenly) believe that God will “reward” us for our good deeds. But this is a falsehood, and at worst, delusion. Our selfless, sincere, sacrifices pay off Karmic debt. THAT is the “reward” – if one can construe paying off a debt as a reward. But in such a “reward,” God is not (directly) involved. Why? Because for God to intervene (or, for that matter, any of His Hierarchies) would spell the end of our most precious attribute – our freedom. We are free to “graduate,” “fall back,” or “drop out” of our personal evolution. God is bound by His own Law to allow us reach the heights which He intends for us and to “leave us be” of our own accord.
Does “leaving us be” mean that God metaphorically spins a top and lets it spin on its own without any help? No. Certainly not. There is a “conduit” to God and the Hierarchies. It is forever available for our help. However by “help” we do not mean “intervention.” We are never (truly) alone. However, if we reject the existence (and thereby the help) of the Spirit World (Heaven) no help can be given. It is our realization, acceptance and immersion into the reality that we are truly spiritual beings that opens up the Heavens for our help – our assistance in our sincere pursuit of our Higher Self. And just how is such “help” manifested in one’s life? Because we are individualities, the answer to that question is legion. I can only share with you how, in my wife’s and my current struggle, such help was manifested to me last night. The meaning of what I share below is private to myself and my wife. You may speculate what it means all you want – its true meaning cannot be ascertained except by those (Erin and I) moving through our current set of challenges. However I would be amiss and left with leaving you – the reader – without a sense of relevancy to all that I have said above if I did not share my own experience.
After I woke up this morning, the Sun still on its rise, I jotted down the following, along with some insightful thoughts and (personal) conclusions (which, I must confess, I KNOW to be accurate and real). What you read below is not uncommon for me. It has happened many, many times over the course of my years of spiritual studies, so I KNOW it to be true and accurate. Faith is not meant necessarily as a comfort and help to move one through difficulties, however it is the anchor which binds you to the Will of God THAT YOU CHOOSE in your own life. Such anchors have been laid before me many times, and all too often forgotten. This particular anchor I will promise myself to be reminded of when I again fail. Case in point, my friend: I am not a considerably strong man. I am aging (62 yo at this time of writing) and am somewhat physically weaker than in younger years, but, more importantly, I am little changed from the bonds that tie me to my desires and weaknesses on the physical plane. I am not by any stretch “strong” or “special” or “knowledgeable” in my pursuit of Higher things. But what “sets me apart” (from my lower self primarily) is my utter thirst to become a better human being. THIS is what makes all the difference. Paul taught that it is not success that is most important (for except for over time and possibly many lives this is not possible) but rather it is the “getting up and continuing forward” that is most important. Your past is past (even 1 minute ago). To dwell on the past is a tax on the energy required to move forward: It is “water under the bridge,” and “you cannot unpluck a plucked chicken.”
My prayer for you – for any and all that might read this post – is that somehow, in some small way, it may in some way help you face whatever challenge is before you either at this moment or may befall you down the road. You are not alone. Seek and you shall indeed find the help, courage, and strength you need to move forward and through your challenges.
Before falling asleep the night of 08.18.2023 after a 3 day fast, I asked the Lord to awaken me at 6AM. I asked my Guardian to provide me some sort of answer or key to help Erin and I get through our current set of circumstances. I awoke at 5:49AM from the following dream.
We were together – with a dog – in some town, a busy town full of people. It was not the town we preferred to be in. There was another town some distance away we considered our home. There was to be some big event (which I have forgotten the nature of or what it was about) in our current town that would attract many from the outlying area – including our home town. The day came and we wanted to be away from the even larger potential of crowds. So we took our dog and traveled in the truck to our ‘home town’. Upon arriving we found the town empty of people – they had travelled en masse to see the big event in the other town. We were at first set back but soon realized what a blessing it was and thus became excited. We drove to the foot of a mountain, before which was a large meadow or flat terrain. Overjoyed, we jumped out of the truck, the dog now ecstatic and excited. We ran toward the mountain, hardly able to contain ourselves, to hike a trail that had once been our favorite thing to do, place to be.
I think the most encouraging thing about the above is that, even when feeling far from God and my prayer life having become a shambles, I can make requests of the Spiritual world and receive answers. This morning, with Erin still sleeping in bed, I was able to (somewhat) perform my prayer praxis.
We are being watched and looked over… God has not abandoned us, He will care for us in the future. THIS is the core of the message and promise I received in answer to my requests.
To sum up what I wish you to “hear”: God will never abandon His most precious creation – humanity. He watches over every single one of us. How He receives what He sees of our lives one can only speculate, and ultimately be never accurate. We are only servants of the Lord when we choose to be. However do not be fooled by such limiting earthly language: To serve God is the highest of privilege. The “reward” comes in what we make of ourselves through repeated Earth lives*.
* Yes, Karma and Reincarnation are realities, realities that have been, over the millennia, been obscured from sight. We are living in a time when that “sight” is again being provided to us. How? Heh, it all began on a hill named Golgotha some 2000 years ago – but that is for another post, perhaps in the not-so-distant future; its Mystery is being revealed in our time.