The Greatest Love
John 15:12-13
12 This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.
In all my years attending church (Protestant) or Liturgy (Eastern Orthodox), the two words “lay down” were always conveyed as meaning “to die.” It was always taught that with those words Jesus was indicating that He was about to show His love for his disciples by hanging on the Cross. Is this accurate? Is this really what Christ meant? Was He merely talking about Himself and in a sense challenging His disciples to follow Him to their own crosses (which, in fact many of them indeed did)? No, I no longer think so.
The Greek word here translated as “lay down” is tithémi (transliteration from the Greek – phonetically it is “tith’-ay-mee”). As you might know, in any language, words often have many meanings dependent on the context of their use. Greek is by far no exception. The Greek word “tithémi” can therefore be translated as any of the following (pulling from the NAS Exhaustive Concordance; there are several more than what I share here):
Commit, kneel down, lay down, offer, ordain, present, purpose, or set down.
Out of that selection the only translation that “might” be interpreted to mean “die for” is perhaps IMHO “offer.” However if I “offer” my life to you, I contend that what is meant is simply that, I “offer” my LIFE to you. To offer my life does not (by default anyway) mean “die.” When I married my wife, in effect I offered my life to her (though I would die for her without hesitation). My “offer” was to LIVE for her IN THAT CONTEXT. Christ, in the above quote from the Gospel of John, commands His disciples to love one another. Does it make sense then right after that He would instruct them (in the sense of a challenge) to then die for one another? Does it not make (much) more sense His meaning was, after instructing them to LOVE one another, He would then add they should, therefore, LIVE for one another? I think so.
Why is this important to me right now you might ask? It is for this reason…
Several months ago my mother in law had what (for the sake of brevity here) was in effect a heart attack. This much loved woman, who has been for at least the past 5 years after my own mother’s death my own adopted mother, survived by the Grace of God and was able to return home. However, she was not to return to “normal life.” In her 80’s, she now requires full time care. The family was thus faced with options from which a decision was to be made. She, Mom, could be put in an assisted living “home.” Or she could have full time live-in care.
My own mother was placed in “assisted living” by my step-father. In short, she was condemned to a “life” where death surrounded her. She was lucid enough, healthy enough, to ask of my younger brother (a doctor) why she was in such a place, pointing to others around the room and asking, “am I like him? Like her?” to which my brother had no answer. Seeing the conditions under which she now had to live, my wife and I knew she would not live much longer. Six months later we laid her body to rest. This time, with my wife’s mother, this was not going to happen. My wife stated emphatically, “Mom is not going into one of those places.” To which I fully and whole heartedly agreed.
So what, then was the solution? My wife was to become, by her own (and my) choice the full time live in caretaker. My mother in law lives roughly 800 miles (12 hours, driving) from where my wife and I live. Though I am retired, I have a part time job and responsibilities “at home” (we raise chickens, which is the most important of these). The solution was, and is to this day, three months later, for her to live there. This has meant and still means we are living apart from one another with the exception of the times I am able to visit for a couple of weeks at a time.
I want to bring this all back around to the purpose of this post. You see, Christ, in those words of John 15:12 & 13, encourages us to love one another and adds “umph” to that commandment (if I may use such a term) by illustrating that the greatest love we can show one another is by living our lives FOR one another. To DIE for another is but a moment, but to LIVE for another is, well, endless (only in death do we part).
This post is to celebrate the most wonderful person I have EVER known in my 61 years (and counting). I have seen love in action, she and I have loved one another with a love that was seeded in tough soil that has, nevertheless, grown into the greatest experience I, personally, could have ever dreamed, or not dreamed, of having in my life. And in the past 3 months she, my wife, has far exceeded even the love she and I share. She has made the supreme sacrifice to place God’s Love in action and CHOSE to LIVE her life for another, to live her life for her mother. She has in undeniable fact, laid down her life for another. She has, in fact, fulfilled the commandment of Christ to Love one another in the greatest of ways by laying down her own life out of love. But I must add here something before it escapes notice. I have known my mother in law for over 30 years now. She and I have had deep-seeking spiritual conversations now and then over the years. And, in my opinion, she is very well worth the life my wife offers her for the time she has left in this life.
Erin and Mesha
Erin, you have always been an inspiration to me. I have always admired your strength and fortitude. I know you are on the precipice of life’s extreme right now. I know all of this is wearing you down. But I need you to know that it is all worth it. You are by far one of God’s greatest children. His Spirit blossoms forth in the love you are showing Mom. Your karmic debts are paid in full. God is with you. God is within you – thriving in you.
Thank you for all you are doing. Thank you for choosing me to be your husband, for saying “yes” at a time when I was not worthy of the love that radiates forth from your heart. Thank you for making alive Christ’s words, Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.
I love you.
-ken